The Female Orgasm

Why should we have orgasms? Why is it so important?
Orgasms give life, make you feel alive.
Orgasms slow down aging and keep you young. Why do you think that is?
One of the biggest differences between animals and humans is our ability to enjoy sex.
Animals only mate to procreate. Our brain thinks every time we have sex we are procreating. Internally the brain signals hormones to be released for fertility. 
If you’re 50/60 years old and still orgasming you’re clearly not having any babies right? The brain doesn’t know the difference and still thinks it has to keep you young.
Every time you orgasm, the brain signals your body to make killer cells that fight cancer, depression and illness. The more you have sex 
(good sex) the more your body creates these cells and hormones. 
Even if it’s self induced, you’re sending a subliminal signal to your brain that’s readying your body to make a baby, and nature responds by keeping you young enough to care for that supposed baby.
If pushing off aging isn’t reason enough…
Try it for pain management! Have a headache? Have an orgasm!! 
Your body will send the blood from your headache down below and voila! No more headache.
Frequent orgasms release a powerful bonding hormone called oxytocin, that keeps you and your partner close.So, why aren’t we having all these amazing orgasms and great sex?
I listen to couples all the time who are very much in love but not having a lot of sex.
We’re having less sex than our grandmothers did, why is that?
We are so busy these days, there’s so much going on, so many distractions that sex becomes another item on the to-do list. 
The media has also done a terrible disservice to women. Every year there is another body part to hate.
Thighs that touch? Men love that
A woman's sweat? Men find that sexy 
The world is telling you to look like a younger and younger girl. With hair removal, no curves, designer vaginas. We are so preoccupied with perfection it’s almost impossible to relax into ourselves.
I’ll tell you a secret... When a man is turned on, your body is perfect to him. 
Your man wants someone who is warm and receptive. Let go of the obsession with the body you're presenting.

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!

We’re not having enough sex because we’re not feeling desirable enough. 
Let me tell you why.

Desire begins in the mind. This is where we need to do our work.

Sexual attraction begins here, so does the power to orgasm.
The sexiest organ you have is your brain. This is where all of the feel good chemicals begin to take shape. It is the place where every fertile element of your life actually lives.
Here’s a news flash… Your orgasm is your responsibility. Not your partners.
Our husbands are not psychic. Unless you find the words to say what pleases you, it will be nearly impossible for him to do so.

You need to learn what feels good and be able to express it.

What you like and don’t like needs to be communicated at the proper time, gently. Preferably in a moment of closeness outside the bedroom. Have patience and go slow.

Intimacy and desire are not the same thing. 
An exciting sex life involves having pleasure, excitement, drama, mystery and even a little naughtiness. 
Having an intimate relationship is friendship, safety, and predictability.
Predictability is the killer of desire. The same thing over and over and over will create boredom.
Mix it up! Try different things, keep it exciting! Get creative and curious.

The bridge between intimacy and desire is fantasy. 
(see fantasy chapter)

Pregnancy, exhaustion, work and children will take up most of your mental energy. Believing that you’re no longer attracted to each other is a result of your thinking patterns . If you believe you’re not attracted, it will become reality. You will start looking for proof that supports these beliefs. Beware of these thought patterns and work diligently and consciously to change them. Remember when you first met? The fantasies you had then held all the potential and are what you have to work towards to remember. Take some time each day to do this, those memories are there you just need to retrieve them.
The same is true for all negative thought patterns around sex. If the mind says “no”, the body follows. 
Thoughts come before all else. 

A belief starts with a simple thought. A thought that we think all the time becomes a belief. 

Thought creates your feelings, which generates your actions. Repeated actions become a behavior. So, thinking “I’m not attractive, I can’t orgasm, there is something wrong with me” will soon become the reality in which you live. 
When you start becoming aware of your thinking and think purposefully “I am attractive, I can orgasm, there is nothing wrong with me.” Join these thoughts together with an action and your body will respond. 
The mind doesn’t have any preference in what you’re telling it. Good or bad, true or false. It lets those thoughts be and every thought you have has an emotional effect on your body. You want to make good friends with yourself.