Family
1. What are your core child rearing philosophies, styles and techniques? Will you set a time schedule vs baby demand?
2. Discipline styles: physical vs verbal? Reward vs punishment? How were you disciplined as a child?
3. How will having a child affect your lifestyle? Sleep hours, work hours, spontaneity, free time? Dinner time? Smoking, alcohol use?
4. What do you need to change in your environment to create a healthier living space? Safety, air quality?
5. What are your feelings about genetic testing during pregnancy?
7. Describe how you picture your everyday routine as a parent. Changing diapers, feeding, playing, cleaning, juggling work, car pooling, bathing? List three ideals you would like to prioritize as part of your family routine. Nightly family dinners, a day of the week off for each of you, date night?
7. What other families do you admire? How would you like your family to emulate them? Do you have friends with families that share your common interests?
8. What are some things you liked about the way you were raised and what would you like to do differently as a parent?
9. What will the division of labor be? Do we automatically assume the woman will take all ownership of household and children duties and the man will earn all of the money?10. What are the expectations around intimacy after
children?
11. Do we have a will? A trust? Do you think these are just for older couples?
12. If we mutually decide for one person to be a full-time caregiver, does that have value? How much value? For how long?
13. How might you encourage or discourage your in-laws’ participation in your parenting? Are we aligned in how to navigate uncomfortable situations as they arise?
14. What is the timeline you have in mind for having children (a certain age, time span, etc.)? Are there things you want to accomplish first? Please consult your Rav.
15. Which of your qualities are best suited for parenting? Which do you feel needs improvement?
16. What do you anticipate as the biggest challenge in parenting? Do you know how to apologize? To your spouse? Do children deserve apologies?
17. How do you feel about birth control?
18. What kind of legacy do you want our marriage to reflect? Are we practicing those values now? Will they be successfully passed to the next generation?