Take Your Time
Orgasm is not the only goal for sex. Mutual pleasure and enjoyment should be the central focus of a sexual experience. It’s not all about penetration or foreplay. Connection is the goal.
Developing a positive mindset starts with positive thoughts:
I’m the boss
I look sexy whatever size I am
I am sexy because I am
My pleasure is a priority
I deserve to take the time I need
I don’t need penetration to have good sex
I deserve to explore my pleasure
Learning what I like will make sex better
My partner is lucky to witness my pleasure
Changing our own awareness is the starting point. When that new belief is paired with an action, everything can change. The next time you make love, communicate what feels good.
Just as you book a dinner or gym class, set aside time to explore yourself. Close your eyes and say, I am sexy because I am.
Rid yourself of self consciousness about being seen. Get back into your body, feel and have fun.
Breath, don’t dwell on the thoughts, they aren’t helping you.
If you must think, think: I can take as much time as I need. I am just going to feel pleasure.
Unlike date night, where we go out, have dinner and hopefully a nice conversation, we’re generally tired at the end. It sounds cliche, but scheduling time for sex means that you’re prioritizing connection. This is what we look forward to during the day.
You are the boss here, hold off on penetration until you feel truly ready. Try kissing for 5 minutes and guide your partner to slow down.
It is essential to understand what gives you pleasure. When making physical connection, having a clear mind will enable you to be physically and emotionally present.
Moving sexual energy with your breath, making sounds, movement and bringing focussed awareness to your pelvis will create arousal. Arousal switches off the judgemental part of the brain so that you can become more sexually creative.
Leaning into sexuality, in general, as a way of being, will support you in other areas of your life. Bringing your creative force into action keeps you open for spotting opportunities and more receptive to receiving them.
Learn about your body and the power of creation, realize what you are capable of.
Leave behind the myth that you need to be ready just because your partner is.
