Don't assume that men know that you're attracted to them or that they know what's going on in your body and in your mind. Men are not mind readers. Trust me when I say if you give them a window into how you're thinking and how you're feeling, it is going to make a huge difference for them. The more you give them an understanding of your body, mind and the way that they’re lighting you up, the more that's going to turn him on.
The second principle I want to share with you is the power of future pacing.
This is a really fun technique where you use specific phrases and methods, and draw him into the experience you're looking forward to sharing with him later, whatever that may be.
Know that if you master future pacing and you use it effectively, his brain will release dopamine and it’s going to get him primed for what's to come. The beautiful thing about future pacing is that you can use it over an unlimited distance.
The first way to do this is by giving him a future feeling statement of something that you're looking forward to experiencing with him later. A great example of this would be, I can't wait to feel your lips on my neck tonight. This will absolutely light up his entire body, he will start visualizing and thinking about how wonderful it's going to feel to do that.
Remember going back to the first principle we talked about is that men love knowing how their actions turn you on. Men love being acknowledged for what they're doing. One of the greatest ways that you can acknowledge a man for his actions is by letting him know how much he lights you up.
The second way to use this principle is in a future action statement. And that's where you share something that you're looking forward to doing to him or that you're looking forward to him doing to you.
Third, is called a present sensation statement. You're giving him the understanding of what you are presently experiencing right now. This can be extremely hot for a guy and is going to elicit a similar sort of reaction from him. He's probably going to share what he's feeling too, which brings us to the fourth way to use this framework…
A present sensation question. This is where you ask him in a warm, inviting, sensual way what he's feeling and experiencing in the middle of this conversation. Then you hold space for his response and play off of it.
So you could say something like,
So how does it make you feel to know what I want you to do to me?
And part of what's so cool about this is that you're actually getting him to connect with his body and open up to you vulnerably about what it is that he's feeling and experiencing. It may be at the physical level, but it is a type of vulnerability that a lot of times men don't have experience discussing. So this really is you showing up as the initiator of the relationship, getting him to speak to you in a more intimate manner and building and deepening that connection between the two of you.
Another great way to get a man to drop into his sexuality or sensuality and take the conversation to the next level is through asking sexy questions.
A fun type of question within hypotheticals is the, would you rather question.
Would you rather have sex only in bed or only out of bed if you had to pick one?
There are a million would you rather questions that are out there. They're a really fun way to get a man to open up and start thinking and talking about sex in a playful way.
That's going to build that connection with him and just get his motor running. Just remember that the key to asking a man questions about sex is to always show up soft and warm and inviting and curious. He needs to know that when you're asking him these questions, that this is a safe space, that you are not doing an inquisition. You want to make sure that you have created a level of trust with him or else he might not give you a full and open response.
Let’s discuss the power of multimedia.You don't just want to type him out. Text by using pictures and videos and different types of recordings, this is a way to turn a man on from a distance. Voice texts are so powerful because your voice to a man that you are seeing is so activating.
Any of those future pacing techniques can be done through voice memo or voice text. It will have a completely different level of response from your man. So leverage the power of your voice and don't be afraid to send your man any of these texts or any text that you can come up with as a voice memo instead of just a text message.
This allows him to feel the energy and the sensuality behind your words and create a much more intimate connection with you. Just know that exchanging flirty or sexy voice memos is a really powerful way to build sexual connection, create deeper intimacy, build tension, and take your back and forth dialogue to a completely different level and make him very turned on.
Remember, what we’re working to do here is to build tension with him. You want to do that with pacing. We want to build the pressure throughout the day. Suggestive or teasing pictures and videos are going to be much more effective in doing that.
So ladies, if you can remember these three principles, you're going to be able to effortlessly turn on your man no matter how far apart you may be.
