The Female Orgasm

Why should we have orgasms? Why is it so important?

Orgasms give life, make you feel alive.

Orgasms slow down aging and make you younger. Why do you think that is?

One of the biggest differences between animals and humans is our ability to ENJOY SEX.

Animals only mate to procreate. Our brain thinks every time we have sex we are procreating. Internally the brain signals hormones to be released for fertility. 

If you’re 50 or 60 years old and still orgasming you’re clearly not having any babies right? The brain doesn’t know the difference and still thinks it has to keep you young.

Every time you orgasm, the brain signals your body to make killer cells that fight cancer, depression and illness. The more you have sex (good sex) the more your body creates these cells and hormones. 

Even if it’s self induced, you’re sending a subliminal signal to your brain that’s readying your body to make a baby, and nature responds by keeping you young enough to care for that supposed baby.

If pushing off aging isn’t reason enough…

Try it for pain management.

Have a headache? Have an orgasm. Your body will send the blood from your headache down below and voila, no more headache.

Frequent orgasms release a powerful bonding hormone called Oxytocin, that keeps you and your partner close. 

Fun fact: Men think that they need to have sex to be intimately connected.

In contrast, women need intimacy to have good sex. So, if you can keep your sexual desire close to the surface, it will do wonders for the relationship overall. 

So, why aren’t we having all these amazing orgasms and great sex??

I listen to couples all the time who are very much in love but not having a lot of sex.

We’re having less sex than our grandmothers did, why is that?

No offense to any of the men but the average man takes four and a half minutes to climax, that’s it. And we still find reasons why we don’t have that four and a half minutes to set aside.

We are so busy these days, there’s so much going on, so many distractions that sex becomes another item on the TO DO list. More on that later…

The media has also done a terrible disservice to women. Every year there is another body part to hate.

Thighs that touch? Men love that

A womans sweat? Men find that hot

The world is telling you to look like a younger and younger girl. With hair removal, no curves, designer vaginas. We are so preoccupied with perfection it’s almost impossible to relax into ourselves.

I’ll tell you a secret. No one cares what design you had waxed on to your vagina.

Your man wants someone who is warm and receptive. Let go of the obsession with the body you are presenting.

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS

That woman you see on a magazine cover has just as many if not more insecurities than you do. Her whole life revolves around the way she looks. So fear not and get comfortable with what you’re working with at any stage of life.

We’re not having enough sex because we’re not feeling desirable enough. 

Let me tell you why.

Desire begins in the mind. This is where we need to do our work.

Sexual attraction begins here, so does the power to orgasm.

The sexiest organ you have is your brain. This is where all of the feel good chemicals begin to take shape. It is the place where every fertile element of your life actually lives.

Here’s another news flash… Your orgasm is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Not your partners.

Our husbands are not psychic. Unless you find the words to say what pleases you, it will be nearly impossible for him.

You need to learn what feels good and be able to express it.

What you like and don’t like needs to be communicated at the proper time, gently. Preferably in a moment of closeness outside the bedroom. Have patience and go slow.

Intimacy and desire are not the same thing. 

An exciting sex life involves having pleasure, excitement, drama, mystery and even a little naughtiness. 

Having an intimate relationship is friendship, safety, and predictability.

Predictability is the killer of desire. The same thing over and over and over will create boredom.

Mix it up. Different is exciting. Get creative and curious.

The bridge between intimacy and desire is FANTASY

Pregnancy, exhaustion, work and children will take up most of your mental energy. Believing that you’re no longer attracted to each other is a result of your thinking patterns . If you believe you’re not attracted, it will become reality. You will start looking for proof that supports these beliefs. Beware of these thought patterns and work diligently and consciously to change them. Remember when you first met? The fantasies you had then which held all the potential are what you have to work towards to remember. Take some time each day to do this, those memories are there you just need to retrieve them.

The same is true for all negative thought patterns around sex. Mind says NO and the body follows. Thoughts come before all else. 

A belief starts with a simple thought. A thought that we think all the time becomes a belief. 

Thought creates your feelings, which generates your actions. Repeated actions become a behavior. So, thinking “I’m not attractive, I can’t orgasm, there is something wrong with me” Will become the reality in which you live. 

When you start becoming aware of your thinking and think purposefully “I am attractive, I can orgasm, there is nothing wrong with me” Your body will respond.

The mind doesn’t have any preference in what you’re telling it. Good or bad, true or false. It lets those thoughts be and every thought you have has an emotional effect on your body.

This is controllable.

When you tell yourself that you are sexy, you are switching on an incredible life force.

So, switch it up, speak life and love into yourself.

Now, about that clitoris…

The clitoris is positioned away from the vagina due north. During penetrative vaginal sex there is generally not enough stimulation to orgasm this way.

There is some research that suggests most women cannot orgasm at all during penetration.

This is a myth, watch below for more.